Rylan's Birthday

Rylan’s first birthday was something so special, and I am lucky I could be a part of it.  I have thought about this blog post a lot and really I don’t think anyone can say it better than his mom, Beth. This is from her blog:

So while I sit here waiting for him to wake up I can’t help but think about all the things that were going on this time last year and what our family has made it through. At this exact moment last year I was walking out the door to sit with my Grammy for what we knew would be her final day of life. Before I could get out the door my water broke and we began what we thought would be one of the most exciting days of our life. I was home alone; scared, nervous, happy, excited, and sad. My Mom came, Brian came, and off we went to Gwinnett Medical Center. We soon learned Grammy had passed and while it was very difficult it gave us peace of mind knowing the circle of life would continue. Who would have thought that two hours later our little Rylan would be here only to fight for his life? He was taken from us and it wasn’t for another 3 hours that we knew what was going on. A nurse came and got Brian and I, told us we needed our cameras, things were not good, and we needed to say our goodbyes. How could the first time I ever saw my baby could it be to say goodbye? How could that be happening? Our worst fears were validated as we entered the NICU, heard doctors yelling for the parents to get in there now. There were more people then I could count surrounding Rylan, doctors’ trying to explain what was going on, and my baby, shaking violently from the Oscillator and what I personally think is one of the worst machines ever.  I promised him in that moment that I would never give up on him and that we would never let go. 

There were times in his first 6 weeks that I doubted the promise I made. Times Brian and I felt it was time to let him go. How could any parent confine their child to a ventilator for life? We will never regret the decision to trach our baby. Look at us; here we are, one year later.

Our little boy may not be able to breathe on his own, he may not be able to speak, and he may not be able to eat. Sure he is very delayed in many ways but let me tell you what our little miracle can do.

He can melt your heart with a look from his eyes. He can tell you you’re his world by the way he grabs your shirt and pulls you in for a hug. He can give the best slobbery kisses and blow oh so sweet kisses to those who Mommy doesn’t let get too close. He can crack you up with his need for applause, and his funny little attitude. For a baby with no facial expressions he can sure show you his mad face and clinch his little fists. There is no doubt when you annoy this little guy.  He can defie all odds and prove everyone wrong. He can hold his head high, sit up on his own, he’s learning to roll all around, and has figured out how to scoot. He wants to crawl so badly and even though he can’t lift his head from his stomach or push up from his tummy that does not stop him. He transitions into a side sit then off he goes, diving onto all fours, only to fall flat on his face. Just like everything else in his life, this does not faze him. He sits himself up and tries again. One day he will surprise himself and not fall, one day he will crawl all around our house with mommy close behind with his equipment. He will continue to prove all those people wrong.  You know what else he can do that I think is pretty amazing. He can bring together a community of those who have never met. He can bring a group of 50 to a walk. He can introduce his mommy to some of the most incredibly woman I will ever know. He can change your viewpoints and turn you into an entirely different person. A better person.  He may not be able to change the world but my baby boy can change the lives of all those he encounters.

This day is just beginning and I know it’s going to be one filled with emotions. So far today I have laughed, cried, smiled, and prayed. I have to book a surgery today, on my baby’s first birthday – isn’t there something wrong with that picture. =/  More on that another day but nothing to worry about.

Today I am going to embrace every emotion I feel. I am going to spend the day with my son – doing things and moms do with their babies. We will play and make a mess. We will take a walk or maybe go to the park. We will share the relationship that we were so close to never experiencing. I will continue to count my blessings and I will always fulfill my promise to never let go.

I love you baby Rylan. You have forever changed me and filled my heart with so much joy.

To doctor Leslie Leigh and the staff of Gwinnett Medical; thank you for saving my baby. I owe his life to each of you and am convinced he would not be with us today if it were not for Dr. Leigh, the nurses, and respiratory therapists who were on that night. Happy birthday Dr. Leigh, what an incredible man Rylan gets to share his birthday with.

Thank you to all those who have continued to follow our journey. Thank you for reading, praying, sending cards, meals, and love. We are a very blessed family and will never forget those who have been here for us.

My song for Rylan one year ago and always…

It’s like a storm
That cuts a path
It breaks your will
It feels like that
You think you're lost
But you're not lost
On your own
You're not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go

It hurts my heart
To see you cry
I know it’s dark
This part of life
Oh, it finds us all
But we’re too small
To stop the rain
Oh, but when it rains

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let you fall

Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I won't let you down
It won't get you down
You're gonna make it
Yeah, I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
And you can’t cope
And I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won't let go

Oh I’m gonna hold you
And I won't let go
Won't let you go
No, I won't

I am so proud to call these people my friends; they have embraced life and now help educate other families who are faced with similar challenges. Truly amazing people!
Now onto the party, Beth and her friend Eve really know how to put a party together. The theme was The Very Hungry Caterpillar the cake, the food, the decorations all of it was amazing. It was a great celebration and Rylan was the center of attention, I have never been around so much love.

if you want to follow the Dodson Family and Rylan's journey or make a donation please visit http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/rylandodson